You Are Who You Are, Why Change?



We are all born into this world different in a perfect genetic chaos, making us unique. Unless, you of course have a twin brother or a sister, then you might consider yourself a little bit not unique.

If the universe wanted it the other way, we would all like the same music, dress the same way, are thoughts would be the same, our lives would be exactly the same.

But the nature itself tends to the chaotic state. It’s natural to be chaotic, to be different than the others who surround you.

I often question myself, what would happen’ if I really accept a long-term psychotherapy and completely change my mindset, my behaviour, my relationships with other people?

Would it still be me? Or someone else?

I know a guy with BPD for many years. When he reached the bottom, and searched for help, he undergo the process of a long psychotherapy sessions.

He is not the same person anymore.

We are still friends, but some of his reactions, sentences, the way he sees the world, is fully changed. I disagree with him a lot. And our friendship is not what it used to be.

In a way, a lost a friend.

I’m glad for him because he leads a normal life, with minor problems now and then, but I would never accept changing myself into someone else.

Sorry, I was born this way. I apologize for all my mistakes, bad manners, harsh words. I did the wrong this in my life. I hurt people, and I am sorry because of that.

But the others have hurt me as well, in a worse and more terrible way then I have done to anybody, ever!

Have they been sent to the psychiatrist? No.

So I choose to by myself.

The way I am.

I have changed only one thing: I brought a lot of kindness, empathy and love towards the others.

My character, though, didn’t change.

If you’re messing with me, it’s not gonna end well for you.

If you are kind to me, I’ll be kind to you.

My personality is who I am, but my attitude depends on you!

That’s why I posted this song.

It says it all.

“Someone finds salvation in everyone
And another only pain
Someone tries to hide himself
Down inside himself he prays
Someone swears his true love
Until the end of time
Another runs away
Separate or united?
Healthy or insane?

To be yourself is all that you can do!”








My friend is a nice person.

He is polite, always with good manners, opens the doors to me, answers my calls and text messages.

His clothing style is admirable, as he always looks like a male mannequin from the expensive clothing shop.

His hair does not have unpredictable ways of curling, or shaping into something that looks like the birds nest.

He is always perfectly shaved, and smells like a perfume store.

He does not drink beer from the bottle, like I do.

He does not swear.

In fact, I think I hate him.

I will blame this hate on his verbal tick, the only indignity he owns in his life.

“Hell yeah”. 

How can such a guy repeat the “Hell Yeah” every two seconds no matter what the subject of the conversation is?

He blends the Hell Yeah perfectly in the conversation, even if we are talking about the newest information in the scientific field.

Although its admirable gift to make every sentence properly adjusted to fit the Hell Yeah in it, I hate it.

Once, I was counting how many times he can say it in one evening. I gave up, as I went crazy around one hundred times.

I implied to him how its inappropriate to abuse the Hell Yeah so much, and that I will surely kick him if he uses the phrase to excessively.

Of course, no chance of the Hell Yeah disappearance.

So, everyone in our friendship circle now call him the “Hell Yeah”, although Matthew is his real name.

He is not complaining.

Maybe the amount of the hair wax on his head absorbs the negative energy around him and makes him totally indifferent about his verbal tick flaw.

Hell yeah, I simply cannot be in his presence anymore!

I swear, the next time I’ll meet him,  I will kick him!