Triggered and thrown into the abyss.
With stupid words. With stupid acts. With stupid people that surround me.
I should have left my cell phone in the sink and pour the water in. To drown it.
I lit up a cigarette.
Smoke vanishes in the air. Just like me. Vanishing.
What do I feel?
Common question. Without an exact answer. All of it. Everything. Oh my, you stupid BPD.
Anger, grief, sorrow. If I could cry (which I just cannot for a long time now), I think I would flood the city.
Instead, I’m sitting empty, alone, looking at the wall.
Smoke in the air.
Coffee.
Me. Wanting only one thing.
This story should finally reach the end.
Perplexed plot, insane characters, twisted turns, unbelievable chapters full of despair.
Smoke in the air.
I took all of my meds, as prescribed. With a touch of more Klonopin to numb me even more. It’s not working, as usual.
If I make it through the night, if I finally get asleep (which I also cannot), I promise myself to see my psych tomorrow.
I feel another couple of days or weeks coming, in the, oh so well-known, surrounding with white walls and full-time insanity.
If I make it.
Smoke. Vanishing.
“..Laecheln…… sanfte Rueckkehr….
….Traenenlos versinkend……
…..Schau zurueck friedvoll…
….Wenn die Daemmerung erwacht…
……Vieles bleibt vergessen…..
……Verschwommen und zerschellt…..
……An den leichten Momenten…….
……Dem Wellenschlage gleich…….ueberm Meer…”
Sending warm hugs with love..!
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Thank you Andy, so much.
(pokes a nose,coffee to go, wanna’ share? )
(hugs, coffee shared).
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Coffee and warm loving hugs! 🙂 🙂
.. oh and poke a nose back heh!
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(poke poke poke back at you)
coffee!
me like that.
where’s the muffin? 😀
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Only fresh ones made for you! right out of the oven 😉 (poke poke poke)! 😉
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oh….that’s a big compliment.
start baking. 😀
poke! 🙂
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For you? anything you wish Tina! 😉 Poke poke poke! replied message btw 😉
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Ding! bluberry muffin ready, now..where’s she (looks around) mmm!
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I have already eaten them while you were not watching. 😀
Poke a nose! 🙂
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Gah!! knew you’d distract me again with those eyes 😛 Pokes your cheeks!
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Hehhehehe….
I knew it!
Now….let me distract you again…wanna coffee?
But this time, I’m making it.
(poke cheeks nose) 😀
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How can I say no to you? if you keep looking at me like that? 😉
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LOL.
You
can’t.
😀
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*Pokes your cute lil nose and enjoys coffee)
So you work in late tonite? 🙂
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Nope.
I’m off the hook.
Said to my boss that I will be absent for a week or two.
Have to get some time for myself, gather the pieces…
🙂
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oh? is everything okay? email me if you like 🙂
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Well, the two last posts weren’t fiction writing.
I thought you understood that.
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I had hoped, sorry my Tina..! you do know I’ll miss you right? poke and kiss on cheek
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Misunderstood again.
I’ll be at home.
That’s the deal with my psych, for now.
So the blogging goes on.
(make me a coffee, you misunderstood me, now you owe me a LOT of chocolate muffins and pancakes as well 😀 )
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Hey let’s go into email away from prying eyes 🙂 (Embraces you warmly) Gmail?
(Gets coffee brewing)
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😀
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Hoping you feel better soon.
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Thanks Amy.
You know well how it goes, ups and downs…
Keep strong.
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My God!
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