Solitude is a synonym for a loneliness: noun aloneness.
So, there we have a three nouns, with the same meaning.
For me, they do not “feel”the same, at all.
Yesterday evening I was so mad at you, stuffing your travel bags once again, as I did numberless times before. I felt grief, because your job is so demanding and you are on a trip almost constantly.
I felt grief because your socks have traveled more than I am, they have seen the whole world. The whole world, indeed.
And here I am, putting those socks again into your bag, the bag will go into the airplane, and you will go into the airplane as well, leaving me as always.
That’s solitude. When you are already missing someone who is right next to you, but in his mind, the airplane has lifted off.
This morning, at the airport, we kissed goodbye.
Instantly, as you were gone, the loneliness has come.
That’s loneliness, when you return home and find a pair of forgotten socks. Me and your socks, waiting for you to return.
The days passing by, loneliness turns int a monster.
The monster called aloneness. It eats you, it haunts you wherever you are, no matter what are you doing.
Aloneness is the final stage. The verge of the pot full with emotions, ready to blast off.
I could ask for a PhD on these three nouns.
I mastered them to a perfection.
We have been talking about us, about your airplanes taking off’s, international arrivals and the awful airport coffee.
I had it enough, I don’t want to feel the third monster noun again. The pot has exploded, and I cannot do it anymore.
When you return to our home, where we have lived for the past few years, I will give you your forgotten socks.
I will kiss you because I love you and then I will leave you for good.
Because loving someone so much and missing him constantly, mastering the all synonyms for the solitude, is ruining my life.
I want you in it, in my life, in my presence. I want you, and not the forgotten pair of socks.
If you will ever be able to understand the solitude, the loneliness, the monster of aloneness, then you will find me.
If you do that, I’ll get rid of my PhD, and finally make a plural in our lives.
Instead of “you” and “I” apart, we could make the word “we” or “us”. A new word in my dictionary.
That would be an awesome PhD, about the new term – “we”, as a plural.
But it’s up to you to decide. The socks, or me. The plural or the singular, it’s totally up to you.