The second year of my work as a nurse in the ICU (Intensive Care Unit) was exhausting me to the point I was able to fall asleep standing.
The shifts were terrible and the job was overwhelming.
Only two years of the job took me to the edge of my physical and mental capabilities. When I was waking up, I generally had no idea if I was in the hospital taking a nap or at home. The color of the walls assured me, I was in my own bed.
Confusion was not a proper word of my state of mind.
Then, strange things started to happen.
My boyfriend and I were at some boring wedding, and I remember my yawning.
Drinking the glass of the red wine, I took my cell phone and started to evaluate my plans for the next week, and grocery shopping list. So, I opened the application “My period”.
As I opened the app, a red light appeared and the message big as a Titanic, followed: “Your cycle is 20 days late!” I was entering all the dates carefully, without skipping anything. I stopped breathing for a moment.
I called a waiter. “Please, can I have another glass of red wine? No, bring me two glasses!”
My boyfriend gave me a look like I was nuts.
I counted the days for myself. Again, again and again.
Twenty days, just as the app said.
I drank the both glasses to the bottom, and convinced myself I had a hormonal problem due to stress, job and unhealthy living style.
“I’ll go to see a doc next week”, I promised myself, and forgot about it.
In the next following weeks, I started eating cucumbers for breakfast. I needed them, more than coffee. After all, they are healthier than coffee, I thought.
When I was coming from a job, my goal was to get to the nearest sofa or a bed. I fell asleep immediately, wearing the coat.
Back then I concluded that I surely had pneumonia, but, all my health examinations were normal.
My boyfriend reactions were merely “Meh, it’s nothing!” when I complained. And he was a M.D. But he had a cold head and no empathy at all. I wished to break him with a hammer, for his incapability of concern.
Then, I woke up in the middle of the night.
I had pain in my tummy, so hard I thought I was dying. I tried to wake the Cold One, but he just turned around and continued snoring.
I literally dragged myself to the bathroom, where I have spent the next six hours, lying on the floor, unable to move.
My cell phone was in the dining room, but it could be in the South Pacific Sea, as well. I couldn’t make it so far.
The next morning, as the Cold One found me on the floor and took me to the ER, the nurse said to me: “Congratulations! You’re almost 12 weeks pregnant!”
I felt dizzy. Pregnant? The cucumbers, the constant tiredness. It all made sense suddenly.
And my boyfriend, the Cold One, nodded his head uninterested and said: “Meh, we’ll manage it, somehow”.
We broke up the next day. I had enough “Meh’s” for the next two lives.
The phrase, “Meh, it’s nothing”, and my confusion, turned into the biggest surprise in my life. And the most precious.