The Tragedy Of Commitment



The tragedy of commitment.

Have you ever thought of commitment to one person as loosing other possibilities that may have come your way? Like parallel universes exist, and in everyone you choose someone else, something else, with unpredictable consequences.

I have found a great short novel/ article on the web that have described my thoughts to the fullest.

If I wanted to explain it, this would be it.
Below is the link to the original page, and all the credits go to the author, Andrew Boyd.

“The tragedy of commitment

Whoever wants something great must be able to limit himself.
–Wolfgang Von Goethe

Sometimes you are paralyzed with indecision. You can’t bring yourself to choose any one future because to choose one is to forsake the promise of all others. Yet not choosing is making you crazy. In such a state, drastic action is necessary. You must choose–and then, one by one, murder all the futures you passed over. Like a faithful companion you’ve cherished all through your youth, you must lead each future back behind the shed, and even if it looks up at you with those big eyes, dreamy with possibility, you must put the cold muzzle to its head and pull the trigger. And you must do it again and again for each future that competes for the attentions of your heart. Only then are you ready for commitment. Only then can you pursue the one thing which will, in time, and after much mourning, become all things to you.

The future is full of possibilities that I must shoot in the head.”- Andrew Boyd


Any thoughts about it?


6 thoughts on “The Tragedy Of Commitment

  1. pepeshrimp June 14, 2014 / 10:49 PM

    Certainly true to at least some extent… But. If you truly follow that logic, it would mean always being aware of “alternatives,” potentially wasted possibilities.

    Wouldn’t this mean defeating yourself. Robbing yourself of the possibilities hand by not being able to commit. And then repeating the cycle all over again with the next possibility?

    Life and especially love often can’t be looked at from a reasonable, calculated standpoint.

    Actually, the above concept somehow reminds me of the self-fulfilling prophecy that tore Bee and me apart.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Tina The Mess June 15, 2014 / 12:27 AM

      Yes, I agree with you, to some level.

      This concept truly robes you and imprisons you, leaving you no possibility of a true attachment.

      That’s why he wrote at the end, I must shoot all the other possibilities in the head. And leave only one path available. Through that, you can commit. As you have no alternatives, they’re dead.

      Speaking truly, at some point in life you must “shoot” all the other possibilities.
      Destroy all the other parallel universes.

      And then you stand a chance of a true relationship with another person.

      How many of us are ready to do that?

      Are we truly so strong to follow only one path?

      And don’t think about prophecies. Prophecies, by this point of view can be reversed, changed or they can never happen.

      Think as you have not “shoot” the possibilities. The parallel universe still exists and you might stand a chance with Bee.

      Stay strong.


  2. pepeshrimp June 15, 2014 / 3:46 PM

    You are right.
    Last night I read your post from a different angle.

    It’s been a long time I shot all the possibilities that don’t include Bee. Straight in the face.
    I destroyed all visions of parallel universes.
    Probably one of the reasons that I don’t feel at home anymore. Anywhere. I’ve become rootless.

    But there are many parallel universes left. And they all include her.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Tina The Mess June 15, 2014 / 6:30 PM

      I’m glad that you have concluded the only possibility is she.

      There’s nothing to say there anymore.

      I never liked the people who had the parallel universes still open as a possibility, you know, just in case. I’ve been in such relationships and it’s not nice to feel that you are no the only One possibility that exists.

      I really wish you good luck in finding your way and making things work again with Bee and you.
      A bunch of positive vibes to you.
      Stay strong pepeshrimp! 🙂


      • pepeshrimp June 15, 2014 / 6:41 PM

        Thank you for your kind words.

        People don’t understand.
        “This will pass.”
        “You will feel better and meet new people.”
        “Yes. I know that this is what it feels like, she’s the “one.” But it will get better.”

        They don’t know me. But I do.
        I will not detach. Not only because I don’t want to. But mostly because I can’t. I have seen “her.”

        Some people might be right in saying that I am not “normal” either. But my “problem” is actually my strength and my gift to her.

        But I am forced to inactivity. Fearing that actively doing something would make things worse (if even possible,) yet at the same time fearing that doing nothing is against what she deep down needs and that validate her feelings (abandonment.)

        I hope she somehow knows how I feel about her. That I could show her when I still could.

        I miss her terribly.


  3. Tina The Mess June 15, 2014 / 6:46 PM

    “So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.”
    ― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist


    “And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”
    ― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist



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