My BPD Skin Scars In Real Life- Try Wearing A T-Shirt In Public

 

forearm

 

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Yeah, it’s ugly, someone noticed in the bar, sitting behind me.

My forearms, scared, every line representing something to me.

I have turned around and said that my scars are no more ugly than his unintelligent brain.

He was too stupid to understand the meaning.

 

But, from that point, and even before that, I have thought what to do with these marks I made?

I bought an expensive cover up make up, but I was disgusted by the idea of camouflaging myself. It is who I am, like it or not. So I didn’t use it, not even once.

One day, I met a great guy, who is a tattoo artist. We were out, drinking beer, and I couldn’t notice his constant look on my forearm.  At first I was mad, so I asked him why the looks? Are my arms so pretty?

He said that he understands, and meant no harsh feelings, but that he was thinking about tattoos on my scars. Not to cover them all, its impossible, but to make them less visible.

I asked him how does he know that I wanted them less visible?

He said that there’s no other reason to wear a long sleeve shirt in the summer.

And he made a point. I haven’t even realised I went out with my long sleeves shirt.

I was hiding from myself.

So, we agreed to meet and make some plans about tattoo.

And yes, I got a tattoo on my forearm.

But, I liked it so much, that it has turned into a full sleeve tattoo (the whole arm), that spreads all along on my back.

Also, I got two other tattoos on my legs, because I liked them.

So, now I am not only scared, but also tattooed. Society loves me and accepts me truly ( that was sarcasm).

Not long time after that, I met a great girl, a beautiful, open-minded and highly empathic. A great person with a wonderful soul.

She is a piercing master.

Now I have at least ten piercings all around me, including the forearm.

Society approves me now even more.

In the summer, when I go out wearing a tiny T-shirt, I can feel the looks from the surrounding people. They are disgraced by my look.

Fuck that.

I concluded that I have never fitted into this society after all.

Now they have even more to look at on me and pinpoint me as a scandalous person.

Fuck that, you didn’t respect me before, I do not need your approval or respect, especially now.

I love my new me, at least new on the outside.

The inside is awaiting a soul tattoo, a mind remedy and a heart healing process.

I know all of it will become real……one day.

Until then, I plan another piercing tomorrow. Just to add more spice.

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